It is what it is

“I don’t think people need therapy or seeing a psychologist or trauma to thrive. I’ve always thought that It is what it is. Everything that happened in the past is the thread that makes us who we are now…” That’s what my husband Poe said.

I replied with a smile. I believe that marriage does not mean that we always have to agree and engage in pointless debates that can strain the relationship and harm the children. I pick my battles carefully.

I accept differences. It makes life colorful and exciting. I like being close to different perspectives because it allows me to reflect, think and generate new theories and ideas that will benefit me later. So when Poe said that, I was still me, thinking my mind was messed up and I needed other people, professionals, to help me sort it out.

Different and yet the same

I also believe in “It is what it is” because I firmly believe that in creating His creatures and providing scenarios for each individual, Allah always pays attention to detail.  Whatever happens, it should happen, and there are no regrets.

However, I agree with “it is what it is” after reading a lot about trauma, brain function, and being handled by psychologists. Because after getting help to deal with all that cluttered my hippocampus with things that weren’t dealt with properly, I realize that I’m Yasmina who needs to live it all.

Because I am very rational and for me science is absolute. Fortunately, my religion conforms to scientific principles. “It is what it is” is the result of brain processes formed on the basis of experiences. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t experienced it all, both good and bad.

Oppenheimer’s movie

What is the connection? Please bear with me, as I mentioned before, my mind is fuzzy and overcrowded. Although it’s no longer the unprocessed trauma right now, the neurons in my brain seem to be acting like neutrons, protons, and their friends, which when compressed and stimulated will explode and start a chain reaction.

I always like to connect the dots and watching Oppenheimer today answered many of the questions that lingered and seemed to have been forgotten. Because I’ve been reading books since I was young. My brilliant father had a million books at home and often talked about everything that was happening in the world since I was a child.

Marxism, socialism, capitalism, war, politics, economics – I even read “Das Capital” when I was in elementary school. All this made me think in a neutral and rational way. That nothing is true except the Word of God. It must also come from a reliable source and not from sources guided by worldly interests. That’s why it’s crucial to do thorough research from different sources of information, not just read or hear and then believe.

My mother was obsessed with chemistry and biology. Her story revolves around DNA, genetics, cells, and genes. But her social skills are much better than my father’s, so she can always relate everything to human life and how we should live it. And Poe, the physics genius who made me fall in love with Einstein, quantum physics, the brilliance of Stephen Hawking, and his connection to the entire universe, which I love with all my heart.

All that knowledge exploded watching Oppenheimer. Nolan’s movies never cease to amaze me! I was even moved to tears when I was taken away by the movie that people say is confusing. I have intricately pieced together every occurrence and detail of the fun plot.

Imagine the enormous cost of Indonesia’s independence, the heartbreaking plight of the children of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the terrifying world of politics and governance and the profound sadness of a scientist obsessed with inventing theories and conducting experiments, only to be financed by war interests.

Me and the experiments I conduct.

As someone who likes to think and develop concepts, theories, and experiences, I can easily relate to the different emotions portrayed in this film. I don’t care for what purpose this film is made, in what perspective, or what mission it pursues. Because I know that it is impossible to create any great work without some sort of agenda.

I just thank Nolan for making it easier to understand the history of science, which has always been about political power and money. It helps me translate readings that sometimes I don’t fully understand because I’m distracted by so many things that I don’t have enough time to dig deeper.

I’m also happy because it’s a strong reminder to me to do better and not forget the “why” that should always form the basis of every strategy, decision, and technical action I take. In my view, Oppenheimer seems to have forgotten this.  But I also understand why he did it.

Researching, formulating theories, and deepening and unraveling discoveries is an activity that I enjoy a lot. It’s an activity that puts me in hyperfocus mode, and I can’t stop until I’m ready to experiment. So obviously the ultimate wish is to turn those theories into reality.

I will do whatever it takes, even if it betrays the values ​​I believed in and are dear to me. This is why funding for scientists is crucial. I mean, the funding source. Because all these concepts require materials, manpower, operational support, consumption, space, and many things that can only be achieved if there is money.

In modern times, the trend may be toward investment financing of various enterprises aimed solely at profit. However, most work is based on values ​​that should not be forced to generate insane profits.

For example, I work on behavior change theories and translate them into simple knowledge content. It could be very profitable if I forget the “why”. For example, bombarding the audience with a large amount of content that ends up confusing them. So I produce a product that becomes the answer to that confusion, making the public run for it because they see it as a solution.

Even if I’m the one who confuses them, and the one who gives the answers (with ONLY high profit as a goal) it’s me too. As a result, I get rich and the venture company gets a high-profit share. But I forget the “why” of my theory of change, which is meant to promote goodness. I don’t realize it until later when I see the results of my actions that don’t match the original goal.

Isn’t that exactly what Oppenheimer experienced?

Two sides of a coin.

It reminds me of a discussion I had with a friend about Stephen Hawking’s theory, later made into a film by Nolan: Interstellar, about other planets and the fifth dimension that could serve as an alternative if the Earth is destroyed. If we look at it purely scientifically, it is certainly magnificent! A theory NASA was eager to test, right?

But if we look at it from a different perspective, is this the only option if the Earth is destroyed? Isn’t that like using an incinerator to solve the problem of piles of garbage in landfills? Or the recent news about a high school student who repeatedly stabbed a classmate for bullying, then the school sets up metal detectors to keep out sharp weapons.

The same goes for the solutions implemented in schools in America when there are frequent shootings of children. Just like starter apps as a solution to parents’ worries. They are interesting, modern, and sexy to attract investment, but on the other hand, they often neglect many essential aspects related to the root causes of the problem.

I won’t discuss the best solutions for those examples; please think about it yourself. Because the former is not wrong, indeed appropriate. But we often forget to think more broadly, multiply, and integrated. I know this higher and larger pattern of thinking is too complex to implement and is only fit to be a North Star goal. So we think from a metric perspective.

The integrated mindset should be achievable for people like me who may appear absent-minded, but their minds are connecting the cause and effect of various events happening in this world. Because believe me, everything is always connected. We are not separate; people, animals, the universe, everything is connected. Even our body, from head to toe, works with multiple solutions because they are always integrated.

To achieve this, we need to break down big goals into smaller goals that can be achieved on a daily basis. But never forget the big goal. Because this is the “why” and it should always be the basis. This is an important lesson I learned from Oppenheimer. I once wrote about the two parts here.

Being able to see things from multiple perspectives is a responsibility for those who weave concepts into theories and try to test them in the real world. They need to know when to persevere, but also when to stop and change strategy. Without a frame of mind, people like you and me who like to create theories will get lost and lose direction.

And yes, it is what it is! All that is intended is as it is.

Back to “It is what it is”. If Oppenheimer hadn’t lost sight of that at the time, Indonesia might not have gained independence. It was a blessing in disguise. I hate to say this, considering how heartbreaking it is to imagine kids and families in those two big cities in Japan. But yeah, it is what it is. What needs to be done must actually be done.

Just like me, who can’t sit still, and always have a busy mind. Throughout my life, I have always thought that my lack of concentration, my disorder, and my insanity were weaknesses that needed to be eliminated or covered up so as not to appear too strange to society. However, after going through consultations and therapy, everything has opened up and I feel so much more comfortable being myself, realizing that my quirks aren’t weird.

I might be the person that thinks crazier than others, but I can connect more knowledge and it turns out that my ability to understand and deal with complex issues since childhood has led to many memories stored in my brain which, when triggered, lead to Emerge, and can be linked to current events and supplemented with new knowledge, leading to new insights.

The most important thing that I always treasure the most is my family. I used to think that I was living in the middle of a Third World War and growing up in pain. However, when the blockage in my amygdala cleared up, I realized that it was thanks to them that I had come this far. My mother always believed in me and supported me, no matter how crazy and messy my stories were.

My father, who despite… (I can’t say here) never gave up providing thousands of kilotons of knowledge from A to Z to feed the brain of his first child, who asked a thousand questions every day. And of course, Poe who, like my mother, never stopped, never gave up, facing the difficult person that I am. He always believed in everything I said and provided moral and financial support to every theory I tried to achieve.

So I don’t need to bother experimenting with fundraising from parties whose petty interests are based ONLY on power politics and money. I am free to explore anything and bring to life the concepts that come to mind every day.

Trust, support, and companionship are basic needs of every human being. And so it is with me. So every step I’ve taken so far is always based on the main “WHY” and hopefully creates the same ripple effect on many people around me so that we can continue to grow, and achieve the connected society we have always dreamed of.

As my psychologist said, “I survived the traumatic effects and thrived. It is what it is.“